New Rules For 2

So a mom, a pediatrician, and a two year old walk into a bar.  The doc sits down and orders a shot of Tequila.  The two year old asks for a Sprite, light ice, extra cherries.  The bartender looks over at the mom, anticipating her request.  

"Wait, what?  Someone is actually going to wait on me??  She asked in disbelief.  

[Joke ends here due to excessive fictional content.]

"Balancing it all" is a misleading phrase if you ask me.  It sounds like having to keep a promise you didn't know you were making.  If life is a juggling act, then some balls are gonna fall.  There are baby steps some days and giant leaps on others.  Besides--juggling acts aren't all they're cracked up to be.  (Think swords and anything on fire).

This being said, here are my life adjustments inspired by living with a 2 year old. 

New Rules For 2

• Knowing you don't have to keep everything.  Seriously, when you get the itch, just pitch.

 

• Filtering out scrutiny.  As much as needed.  And ignoring dirty looks.  Oh, no she didn't.  The nerve!

• Just buy more paper towels.

• Allowing yourself room to step back and watch.  Many others have done this before. 

• Being flexible and then some.  Switching gears easily is a skill no sane parent is without.  It's kind of like having required Adult ADD.  Just go with it. 

• Reminding yourself that dinner doesn't have to be cooked by you every night.  That's what pizza and take-out numbers are there for.

• Just buy more wine.  Or have it delivered too.

• Realizing that even though you took the time to make and serve vegetables, don't do your victory dance just yet.  If they lay there, cold and dejected on the plate, count that as a win next to having them cold and dejected on the floor.

• Knowing that hurry up and go to sleep cause it's starting ALLLLLL over in a few hours.

• Just buy more band-aids.

• Learning to accept that word "no."  It will be thrust at you 24/7 for the next several months.

• Understanding that "crazy" has a new meaning now.  Like, 5 years ago, you may have thought that your neighbors or Black Friday was crazy.  Now, it's that you have to lock the door and hide in the bathroom just to be able to go pee by yourself. 

• Just buy more M&Ms.

• And finding that time for a date night so that you can temporarily step back into the grown up world and remember why you got on this ride to begin with.