Christmas Time is Here Again

Hello friends and family!  I hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas and holiday season!  I know it's been forever since I posted on my blog, so I thought I'd better get back here and wrap 2014 up with at least one more funny story.  You see, just recently, Jackie has learned that his parents have actual names. 

I thought it was cute the first time.  But he has been honing this new skill for days now, and though he still lovingly refers to us as Mommy and Daddy, it's now also Karen and Phil. 

And it's usually when he's perturbed.  Isn't that nice? 

Let me set the scene for you.  Kayleigh just finished her last final exam and is officially now on Christmas vacation.  We are so excited to have this time to spend together and do fun things like shop, watch Christmas specials on tv, and just hang out together during the anticipatory week leading up to Christmas. 

On the drive home, Kayleigh and I were chatting away in the front seat, while Jackie watched Barney's A Very Merry Christmas--one of his true favorites--in the back seat.  While distracted talking with Kayleigh, I began to to tune him out.  I didn't realize--until several attempts later at getting my attention--that he was shouting "Push the button Mommy!"  But what really got me to tune back in was that he became frustrated enough that "Mommy" was unresponsive, that he started saying, "Karen! Karen!  Push the button PLEASE KAREN!!!!!!" 

Well, that worked. 

Hoping you have a truly blessed Christmas season spent with those you love, and a healthy happy beginning of a new year.  Let's have a great 2015!

5 Steps to a Fast and Easy Mama Makeover

Are you still feeling sluggish after eradicating your home of all the Easter Candy?  Do you need a little relaxation and pampering?  Are you long overdue for some alone time, but just too busy and on a tight budget?  You've come to the right place. 

If you're like me, squeezing in the time for a little self therapy (surely she's joking...) proves to be quite the challenge.  There's not enough time.  I can't afford it.  What about the kids?  The kids are always messing with my relaxation plans. 

Well, fear not.  Here are your 5 steps to a fast and easy "Mama Makeover."  This special treatment can be enjoyed right in your own home.  And it comes to you just in time for Mother's Day.

Mama Makeover Menu

Body Wrap
What better way to give you that slimmed down look while also eliminating one of the most dreaded laundry chores--folding fitted sheets.  Simply take 2-3 sheets, and wrap them around your body, securing the elastic corners with a clothespin.  Explain to your family that for the full effect, you must leave this on all day.  With limited use of your legs, and no use of your hands, family members are left to handle the housework, coordinate dinner, and reward you with spoonfuls of ice cream.    

Foot Soak and Pedicure
Did your baby knock over the dog's water bowl again?  Great!  It's time to fill it up with hot water and let your feet get treated to some therapeutic soaking.  Upon exiting the bowl, make your way outside to your child's sandbox.  Take a leisurely walk in the sand, making sure to dodge any shovels, rocks, or cat poop.  A wonderful and inexpensive way to naturally exfoliate! 

Eyebrow Lift
All you have to do for this treatment is to simply see something surprising.  If you have husbands or toddlers in your home, you'll be treated to the VIP package here because surprises are always popping up on a revolving basis with these folks.

Facial Peel/Pore Treatment
Position a 2 year old in his high chair.  Once he is finished eating, allow him to start feeding you.  Using a mixture of home ingredients, let your toddler smear it onto your face.  I assure you, he won't miss a spot.  You can try heavy cream, cottage cheese, honey, a smashed banana, or oatmeal.  This often works very well in conjunction with the eyebrow lift. 

Massage
Lie down on the floor and allow a 30 lb toddler to use you as a jungle gym.

Last but not least, if you can't get to your day spa this Mother's Day, just... 

Courtesy of Target Cards

Here Comes Peter Cotton's Trail

Jackie will no doubt have a fun time this Easter for two reasons. 

1) He's definitely familiar with chocolate and all its wonder and glory, and

2) He loves looking inside things--eggs, shoeboxes, dvd cases, drawers, cups, refrigerators, and so on.

Easter Bunny, are you listening?  

If you're in need of an Egg Interior Quality Control Tester, I've got the perfect match for you! 

Unless you're doing actual counting of your inventory, which in that case, nevermind.



Grandma Marie ("GiGi" as Jackie calls her) recently gave us an air popper and ever since, it's like we never tasted popcorn before.  I've never seen someone so eager to chew. 

Hansel and Gretel could learn a few things about trail-making from this boy here!  The  
Rabbit will have no problems finding us this year.  Just follow the kernels, bunny.

Instead of painting eggs this year, we painted our house!


(Don't mind the dead bush.  Spring hasn't sprung into it yet.)

The weather has been absolutely beautiful.  We are playing outside as much as possible before it gets hot enough to fry something on the sidewalk.

Speaking of frying something, I made my first ever avocado egg rolls!  They were so delicious and while I think I got the recipe down, I've been in the kitchen ever since, taste-testing just to be sure.

Happy Easter, Everybunny!

Hope you enjoy some hippity hoppity fun with your family and loved ones! 



Irish Eyes Are Smiling

Originally Posted by mustloveleftovers 3/14/13
Nontraditional Irish Blessing
For best results, read aloud using your best Irish accent. 
(Irish accents can easily slip into Pirate accent,
so be careful, eh laddies?)

May the road to the liquor store rise to meet you,
May the babysitter not back out,
May the sun shine warm upon your pasty white face,
As you enjoy every cold glass of stout.

May the luck o' the Irish be with you,
May the Leprechaun give you a wink,
May it certainly not be your wee ones,
When someone asks, "What is that stink?"

May your journey's end of the rainbow,
Award you a large pot of gold,
And so now you can pay for that face lift,
Get the first available appointment, you're old.

If you can still count, count your blessings,
And imagine kissing the Blarney stone,
Then be happy to pass the Whiskey, lads,
Cause that means you're not drinking alone.

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

Breakfast Sushi For Your Valentine

We took our love of both sushi & breakfast food and combined them!  Here's a fun new twist on your morning meal, and a new way to say "I love you" this Valentine's Day.   
 
You probably have most of these ingredients on hand:
Eggs (made scrambled)
Bacon
Potatoes
Shredded cheddar
Chocolate to garnish the plate*

*optional, but also required on February 14th :)

First, scramble your eggs the way you like them.  Some people add water, milk, cream, or cheese.  I add a little cheese and some half and half to mine.  Set aside. 

Cook your bacon.  I used turkey bacon for my recipe.  Less fat and also very easy to wrap.

Make your potatoes.  For a faster prep time, I use the frozen variety.  But you can use any potato, they're all delicious.  Tator tots and crispy crowns are especially easy to work with.    

Take your bacon and lay the strips on a plate.  Spoon a little of the eggs and then top by pressing a potato and hold in place.  Then roll your "sushi" up and secure with a toothpick.

Serve to your valentine(s) with a side of toast & a smile.  And don't forget to save some for yourself!

Cover Boy

I hope 2014 brings plenty of love, new memories, and many magic moments to all of you!  Whether you're quitting a bad habit or maybe trying to engage in more healthy ones, high fives and best wishes to you and your New Year's resolutions. 

Jackson was eager to share with you his resolution of helping out more with the housework.  Happy New Year, everyone!

The Anatomy of Santa

Okay, so things have been a wee bit hectic here. 

There is still so much to be done.  The shopping has only just begun. 
The cards and baking will have to wait.  Will we ever be finished at this rate? 

While trying to get just a teeny tiny bit of shopping done before Jackson's nap today, I found myself waiting at a counter inside Macy's.  Macy's is NOT Jackie's favorite part of the mall.  There really isn't anything that interesting to look at, and he knows he's not getting out of his car to go explore which is ALL he wants to do these days. 

But there we were, and so I bent down next to him to have another talk about Santa.  You see, Jackie really understands that word and he loves listening to whatever Mama has to say regarding the jolly old elf.  We have several places throughout the house that feature figures or images of Santa, and Jackie happily points to all of them, sharing squeals of excitement that he knows this guy. 

And we're down 1 snow globe this year because Jackie insisted on freeing him from his domed prison.

Jackie carries his own Santa, a $9.99 special from Safeway that hopped into our cart a couple weeks ago.  It's the softest Santa I've ever felt, and Jackie likes pointing to various parts of Santa's anatomy and hearing me reaffirm what he already knows but can't say.  "Santa's eyes.  There's his nose.  Yes, that's Santa's belly.  Santa's hands.  Santa's ears."  You get the idea. 

But we were all finished with the parts we knew, and Jackie was getting restless.  I needed one more small distraction until it was our turn at the counter.  Just then I looked up, and I spotted it.  Something I knew Jackie would love to fixate on because, like any boy, Jackie loves balls of any kind.  3 huge, red, dangling ornaments. 

"Look, Jackson!  There's Santa's balls!"  And as soon as the words came out, I realized how the heck that just sounded. 

Is that lady crazy??  A couple of other women just looked at me.  One woman laughed. 

"It's just that, I meant, "balls belonging to Santa...that he decorates with...not his actual...ya know..."

Aaaaaaand thankfully, it was finally our turn in line. 

How is your Christmas shopping going?  ;)

 

The Back Page #12: Christmas Edition

• It's easy to let the extra joy and merriment of the holidays lead you to strike up casual chitchat with strangers.  But be careful--it can backfire.  Like asking someone if the sweater they're wearing is for an Ugly Sweater Party tonight.  Cause when they say "no," this is the moment you run away.

• Sleigh bells ring are you listenin', can't feel my toes, are they frost-bitten?  We went to see lights, but it's freezing tonight, cussin' in a winter wonderland.

• It's too bad someone didn't just explain the concept of layaway to this well-known felon.  He could have saved himself the permanent record, and had it all paid it off by Easter.  

   

• My grocery store list has a whole new category this month: "Things I Can Spike With Booze."

• NEW RULE: I before E, except after C, and breath mints before mistletoe as in "ho ho HO, my goodness, did you have garlic soup with onion toast for dinner?"   

• Product/Gift Review: The Diaper Wipe Warmer.  When winter weather makes you shiver, here's a great gift for the great gift-giver!  No more cold wipes and wiggling for you, it's sure to keep them comfortable for #1 or #2! 



• The winter Olympics always have me wishing I could ice skate.  Cause, what better way to break both my arms than in tan fish nets and sparkly briefs? 

• Mary: (to Joseph)  Oh holy NIGHT, this barn smells putrid!  Where are the Glade Plug-ins we bought?  And one more thing--I don't intend to spend one more sleep on this hay pile.  We're going to Bed Bath and Beyond right after dinner.  This Stable Collection we've been using is over 2000 years old, and Jesus wants some manger sheets with a higher thread count.

• I have received no less than than half a dozen catalogs in the mail with samples & instructions on how to pick out and order Christmas greeting cards.  So I did what any budget-wise shopper would do.  I cut each one out, signed our names, and sent them to family and friends.  Do you think anyone will notice?

• Tree topper choice: angel or star?  What do you use?  Is it the same thing you had on your family tree growing up?  Let's weigh in on this important decision.  One, a potential weapon equipped with 5 sharp points, the other--a foreboding figure moving in creepy slow motion and staring at you all night while casting eerie shadows on the ceiling.  Take your pick.

 

• If you were not satisfied with your service today, please take a moment and fill out the brief survey at the bottom of your receipt.  And by the time you've finished inputting the 147-digit number, you'll forget all about your experience anyway!  Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la la la!

• Dear Everyone who gives a care on Christmas Eve, It really is all about the milk and cookies.  So please don't forget.  And also, how's about the real marshmallows in my hot chocolate this time?  The dehydrated ones from the cereal box just ain't cuttin' it.  Love, Santa

May your days be merry and bright! 

Kayleigh, 13
Jackson, 18 months



This is my Christmas Spirit face.

Thanksgiving Miracle

I thought you all should know that something wonderful happened yesterday afternoon.  And by 'wonderful,' I mean, nothing short of a miracle. 

I received a call from my local library from an employee who'd been contacted by a pet store near the Target where my wallet had gone missing Saturday night. 

It turns out, someone had found it and turned it in!  I must have dropped it or it must have fallen out of my purse either on our walk back to the car, or as we were getting into the car.  I cannot even tell you how elated I was!

When Jackie woke up from his nap, we headed straight to Pet Smart.  When the manager named Danica handed it to me, I was so happy, but also terrified to look inside it, for fear of what may be missing.  "It's okay if there's no money," I kept saying to myself.  "I'm okay with it." 

Danica said she had no idea who turned it in, but it was sitting on her desk and they called the library because they figured my account would be linked with my phone number.  How smart, Pet Smart!  I probably cut off her circulation from squeezing her so hard, then we thanked her 25 times, and skipped back to the car.

When we got home, I opened it slowly and peered inside.  Everything was there.  All my cards, my license, and ALL of the cash.  Every penny.  After almost 4 DAYS of being gone! 

Needless to say, I am feeling so blessed and completely grateful for the extremely kind and honest person out there who turned it in, for the employees at Pet Smart and Target, for Kate at the Mesa Public Library, and for my friends and family who have been praying.

This was such a big deal to me and restored my confidence in the true good that is in people.  This Thanksgiving, I know I am truly blessed.

Thank you Jesus! 

NOT! Your Usual Thankful List

It happened so fast and then it was over.  I was only purchasing Goldfish crackers and 3 books from the dollar section.  My total was $6.00.  I hurried through the line, shoved my wallet into my loosely cinched purse and made a beeline for the restroom.  Jackie had proven once again that he chooses the inopportune time to need the public changing table.  But we were on our way out, and it would only take a minute.  No one but me and one 10-year old girl washing her hands.  And then the janitor popped in to do an all-clear before his restroom check. 

My purse fell off the stroller, but I couldn't reach it to pick it up because that would mean leaving Jackie on the changing table.  I finished changing him and hurried to gather my things, but the color of my wallet is beige and could easily be camouflaged against the tile on the floor.  If it had fallen out, I failed to notice it. 

I got out to the lobby and met Phil and Kayleigh and we headed to the car.  It was pouring down rain.  We were in a rush to get out of there.  The next thing I knew, I was back in the store, a frantic, wet, mess of confusion and panic because I knew that I'd left my wallet in the bathroom.  It had to be there.  That was the last place I'd had it. 

And then everything else happened in slow motion. 
The heart thumping. 
The feeling of heaviness on my chest.
Finding the janitor. 
Asking him if he'd seen a wallet. 
Talking to customer service. 
Waiting as they reviewed the video surveillance. 

Knowing that each minute that went by, my hopes and confidence of getting it back dwindled down to a mere prayer.  I explained my actions one more time to the authorities.  Checked and rechecked my purse, the bathroom, my car.  But it was no use.  I'd left it behind and it was gone.  Just gone.  All of my cards, my license, a chunk of cash.  Christmas money.  Everything.  All gone.   

When we went home that night, I felt bad.  I wished I had been more careful.  Why had I not checked the floor and all around before leaving?  Why did this have to happen? 

That was Saturday night.  Since then, I've been busy closing all of my accounts and securing my bank account. 

Yesterday I got a new license at the DMV.  Little by little, the pieces are starting to get put back together.   

I kept a small hope alive that maybe someone, one honest person, would find it and turn it in.  But I am also staying realistic and moving on.     

Here is what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving.

• I'm thankful that we are healthy and happy.
• I'm thankful for the two sweet ladies at JC Penney who generously gave me a new wallet.  And this time, I picked out a shade of blue so recognizable that it would be nearly impossible to overlook on a restroom floor.
• I'm thankful for all the nice customer service representatives and managers at Target.
• I'm thankful for another shot at a decent driver's license picture.
• I'm thankful that I had a good chuckle as Kayleigh asked me if you're allowed to get "re-takes" at the license branch.  Thanks, honey.
• I'm thankful that we don't have to hang out at the license branch more often.  Ugh.
• I'm thankful that maybe some kids who need it will have a nicer holiday season with some new found money.  Not to the meanie who took it, only to the kids who will receive gifts.  That's how I've decided my money will be spent.
• I'm thankful that my husband Phil and stepdaughter Kayleigh were so helpful and understanding, helping to take care of Jackie while I paced and cried and cursed and searched. 
• I'm thankful to the Starbucks rep who ensured me that I'd "do better next time" and promised to send me my replacement card as soon as possible.  We're allowed to be thankful for coffee, right?
• I'm thankful for my good friend Sherrie who helped me feel tons better about the whole desperate situation.
• I'm thankful to my sweet little boy who smiled and giggled and cheered me up that night as I gave him a bath.  He would not want to see me upset.  And he helped me get over it quickly. 
• I'm thankful that I really am not sad anymore about what happened.
• I'm thankful that I learned a valuable lesson.
• I am thankful that I'm not one to hold a grudge or keep feelings of hostility inside.
• And I'm thankful that material things can always be replaced.  The people we love are our greatest valuables. 

I truly hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.  To my family and friends, I love you and I'm thankful for you!  Enjoy your turkey, football, pie, and rest. 

The Charlie Brown Shuffle

El torito.  "The little bull." 
That is just one of his nicknames. 

And it suits him well because for as long as he's been able to move independently, he has had quite the kick and buck routine going.

So for Halloween this year, we really wanted to dress him up with horns, a long swashy tail, and see what happened if we dangled a red cape in his general direction.

We ultimately decided that the Charlie Brown costume was a lot easier.  And less destructive to the state of Arizona. 

And then Jackie made up a new dance for us.

*The Charlie Brown Shuffle* 

I trick-or-treat, I tap my feet, now watch me spin to a spooky beat.

Got it?  Now you try.

 And as it turns out, he decided to flash us a little of the "El Torito" anyway.

If the Peanuts gang were looking for another member, I think they would be happy to induct him in.  He may not be a pushover, but he is happy to shag footballs. 



This Father's Day

This post was originally published 2 months before our nearly 1-year old boy was born.  But it's all still true.  And then some. 

My Baby's Daddy 

You will soon meet him, but before you are here,

I want to tell you about someone so dear--your Daddy.

He has a smile that will melt your heart,

He'll make your day happy right from the start.

You'll soon find out, he's the cream of the crop,

He'll keep you laughing til you just cannot stop.

 

He'll teach you about loyalty and being a man,

And you'll want to be around him whenever you can. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He'll humor your ideas and be a great Dad,

But please, son, watch out if you do make him mad.

He will always be himself, you'll learn all his charms.

And he's never been more ready to hold you in his arms.

Can't wait for you to meet him!

Hope you turn out to be just like him.

Happy Father's Day to the best Daddy!