Resolutions 5.0

Resolutions are a funny thing.  One day you're in your yoga pants, feeling motivated to walk 5 miles on the treadmill, the next day you're in your yoga pants, feeling motivated to finish that bag of Ruffles and watch 5 seasons of House of Cards.

When Christmas was over I thought to myself, now it should be simple to stick to a sensible diet and exercise plan.  And then came New Year's.  Okay, no big deal, we'll wait this out and start again after Super Bowl Groundhog's Day Valentine's Day this is getting pointless.  It seems like I've been playing this cat and mouse diet plan since before Halloween. 


So instead of making unrealistic promises to myself that are only as good as the next rolodex of excuses, here are my RIGHT NOW resolutions.  5 things I know I can stick to. 

1. Be more open to trying jalapenos in my nachos.
2. Buy some pens and scatter them throughout the house and car so when someone asks, "Do you have a pen I can borrow?" I can say, "Why yes I do."
3. Try alternating between Target and Super Target so that one store doesn't get sick of me.
4. Give black licorice another chance.
5. Use my iron more.  The waffle one.

There.  That should do it. 
 
How are your New Year's Resolutions going?

 





























Jackson, watching his current favorite movie, Hairspray.

Toddlers: They're Just Like Us (Part 2)

You know when you're in the family car on a really loooooong road trip and you finally get to hop out and stretch your legs?  That's how I feel!  May was a really big speed bump with 3 out of 4 of us wiped out with some sort of bug.  I had it first, then poor Jackie.  The worst night of his short life was when he threw up 4 times.  Which equals 8 loads of laundry in case you were wondering about the ratio of puke to wash cycles. 

But we're finally feeling healthy and happy, and fortunately, the month ended on a good note.  We got a new car!  And Phil and I went to see Billy Joel at a sold out show here in Phoenix.  And since we've been back to healthy, we've been staying busy with days full of exploring, shopping, playing at the park, spending time at the book store, water play, swimming, and most recently--participating in a new class at The Little Gym.  Jackie loves all the action.  And as you can see, toddlers--they're just like us.   

 

 

 

Hope your summer is going well!

 

Our new Dodge Journey--with seating for 7!

 

5 Steps to a Fast and Easy Mama Makeover

Are you still feeling sluggish after eradicating your home of all the Easter Candy?  Do you need a little relaxation and pampering?  Are you long overdue for some alone time, but just too busy and on a tight budget?  You've come to the right place. 

If you're like me, squeezing in the time for a little self therapy (surely she's joking...) proves to be quite the challenge.  There's not enough time.  I can't afford it.  What about the kids?  The kids are always messing with my relaxation plans. 

Well, fear not.  Here are your 5 steps to a fast and easy "Mama Makeover."  This special treatment can be enjoyed right in your own home.  And it comes to you just in time for Mother's Day.

Mama Makeover Menu

Body Wrap
What better way to give you that slimmed down look while also eliminating one of the most dreaded laundry chores--folding fitted sheets.  Simply take 2-3 sheets, and wrap them around your body, securing the elastic corners with a clothespin.  Explain to your family that for the full effect, you must leave this on all day.  With limited use of your legs, and no use of your hands, family members are left to handle the housework, coordinate dinner, and reward you with spoonfuls of ice cream.    

Foot Soak and Pedicure
Did your baby knock over the dog's water bowl again?  Great!  It's time to fill it up with hot water and let your feet get treated to some therapeutic soaking.  Upon exiting the bowl, make your way outside to your child's sandbox.  Take a leisurely walk in the sand, making sure to dodge any shovels, rocks, or cat poop.  A wonderful and inexpensive way to naturally exfoliate! 

Eyebrow Lift
All you have to do for this treatment is to simply see something surprising.  If you have husbands or toddlers in your home, you'll be treated to the VIP package here because surprises are always popping up on a revolving basis with these folks.

Facial Peel/Pore Treatment
Position a 2 year old in his high chair.  Once he is finished eating, allow him to start feeding you.  Using a mixture of home ingredients, let your toddler smear it onto your face.  I assure you, he won't miss a spot.  You can try heavy cream, cottage cheese, honey, a smashed banana, or oatmeal.  This often works very well in conjunction with the eyebrow lift. 

Massage
Lie down on the floor and allow a 30 lb toddler to use you as a jungle gym.

Last but not least, if you can't get to your day spa this Mother's Day, just... 

Courtesy of Target Cards

I don't always...

The Biggest Loser

No, I didn't lose all of the baby weight yet.  Still working on that...

(I blame nursery rhymes and the power of suggestion.  Little Jack Horner with his Christmas pie, Little Miss Muffet chowing down upon her tuffet, and the Queen of Hearts with her fattening tarts.  So many recipes, so little time.)  

But here are a few other things I have lost since becoming a mother 15 months ago.

• The ability to sleep like a rock
• Several key parts of my previously functioning brain
• Several key parts of my previously functioning wardrobe
• The desire to hold back tears (when you know they're a-comin')
• Several units of cabinet space
• A whole lotta space in general
• Time for things like shaving my legs and casual trips to the grocery store
• My need to have an always-clean house
• My need to have an always-clean baby
• My need to have an always-clean anything
• The car keys on many days
• My mind on most days
• MY MEMORY ON ALL DAYS

And still, with all that I have lost, it can't compare to all that I've gained.

• A lot more room in my wallet (kids cause wallets to drain rapidly)
• A Master's Degree in Laundryology
• Beautifully soft dish pan hands
• More new and creative ways to make dinner with one hand and in 10 minutes or less
• Fun day trips to crazy houses that serve pizza and beer, and introduce children to the concept of gambling.

And of course...with this little guy as my head time keeper and schedule coordinator, I've gained over a gazillion new and wonderful memories!

At 15 months, Jackie is still growing by leaps and bounds.  He is busy every moment of the livelong day.  He is starting to get some molars and he's running, not walking wherever we go.  He is enjoying his swing set, especially the slide.  He says Mama and Dada and he is very interested in any kind of ball.  Basketballs, footballs, baseballs, beach balls, and even billiards balls (seriously, watch out!)  We are literally having a ball with him. 

The Church of the NFL

I've often heard my husband declare that from September to January, he attends the church of the NFL.  And it got me thinking.  Are church and football really one in the same?

The TOP TEN Ways Football and Church

are not *That* Different

10. There are people huddling close, shaking hands, and of course, kneeling down at all the important parts.

9. "Glory glory Hallelujah!" "Amen!" or "Thanks be to God!" may be shouted out repeatedly.

8. The man in charge is sitting way up high.

7. A community gathers once a week for a sharing of light snacks and some booze.

6. The line for the food is always long.

5. Usually you end up standing so you can see better.

4. There's always someone a little "off" sitting next to you.

3. No matter who wins or loses, every Sunday is a triumphant victory over evil.

2. If you're late for kickoff, ain't no fire and brimstone.  They're just happy you've joined the celebration.  And all are welcome.

1. At collection time, you're always throwing your money in.

Toddlers: They're Just Like US

 

And they take time out of their busy schedules to dance the Cupid Shuffle with celebrity mice.

Jackson's First Haircut

We held out as long as we could.  But it's really dang habanero hot here in Arizona.  Like scorching fry an egg on the sidewalk hot. So Jackie got his first hair cut.  And he loves it!  Even though he's looking less like a little baby and more like a bigger baby, we all think it's pretty cute. 

His sweet little curls.  I hope they grow back!

Outtakes