Glossary of Basic Computer Terms
(As it Pertains to Small Children)
browser: the sweet little angel who is half curiosity, half destruction, and 100% havoc to your household; term 'browser' refers to one who aimlessly and haphazardly pulls things out of place; i.e.: crushing window blind panels, scattering laundry basket contents, and manhandling overripe produce with obvious intentions of operating an Orange Julius out of your kitchen
CPU: constantly picking up
desktop: just another surface that isn't clean or dusted, but is currently housing things you've grabbed or pried away from sticky hands of a browser (see above definition)
download: when you watch in part amazement/part fear as what was once macaroni and cheese and applesauce 15 minutes ago, is now fully downloaded and ready for the initializing process; this step could take 2-10 minutes to complete
drive: the amount of energy you don't have when you're lying on the floor motionless, after stepping on another plastic ball, having smashed said ball into a plastic pancake
hyperlink: the time (often too small for accurate measure) it takes for the sugar from juice or fruit by the foot to kick in and send your whole afternoon into a tailspin of misfortune
icon: any person, place, or thing that holds a toddler's attention for more than 45 seconds
operating system: a complex chain of command a toddler must follow to be completely effective in his/her mission and before the first nap; starting with bottles, binkies, and Barney, and ending in toys, tackles, and at least one tantrum
RAM: random acts (of) mayhem
reboot: what needs to happen when your 3rd cup of coffee and shot-gun shower just aren't doing enough to give you that bode of confidence necessary to know that you'll muddle through the day; consider a refresh (see below)
refresh: pouring a little more Bailey's into your cold coffee; for best results, must be done at regular intervals
software install: positioning yourself somewhere in your home where you can rest horizontally, pretending to be engaged in the activities of your toddler; i.e.: a pillow pet or other large stuffed animal, pile of laundry, or a closet floor
upload: when a pea, piece of corn, marble, or any other object get shoved up one or both nostrils
Ha! Cute and funny as always, K. Icon is right!!! And yeah, get outta that corner, Baby!
ReplyDeleteThank you Ruthie. Baby is definitely out of the corner and has discovered the art of "lamp tipping" today! :0
DeleteHahaha! Oh my goodness, Karen. Love this!! I can't wait to see that cutie pie in 29 days :) XOXOXO
DeleteCan't wait! ;)
DeleteHA HA HA! This is hilarious! RAM was my favorite! And the corner office picture made me burst out laughing!-Ashley
ReplyDeleteThanks Ashley! ;) There's always mayhem going on over here for sure!
DeleteI laughed harder and harder as I continued reading. This is hilarious. Thank you for making me almost pee myself. Running to the bathroom now.
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting, reading, and taking the time to comment. :) I am sure there will be a whole new set of terms come potty training time.
DeleteLOL! Great post! I don't have little one's anymore but I have grandchildren and they are such browsers! I'm going to send the link to my daughter. She'll love this!
ReplyDeleteThank you Carli! So glad you stopped by! :)
DeleteI have to say that I loved this post! If you want to link up with FTSF again, please use the sentence we are finishing for that particular week, ok? This week's was, "I blog because..." and next week's is "My favorite movie of all time is..." We'd love to have you join us again- you have a great blog!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I didn't realize there was a certain topic you had to stick with.
DeleteHa to "not being my idea of a corner office!"
ReplyDeleteI think we have our "time out" chair ready to go for later, lol.
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