Jackie's Brand

It is so interesting watching babies and children play.  From every new experience they take in, to the sights, sounds, smells, and tastes, to how things feel and how things work, it's all just so cool to me.  No matter what your past experiences are, each child is so different at how he or she interacts with the environment.   

When I blow bubbles, Jackson is more interested in MY reaction to the bubbles than watching them float to the ground.  He stares at me and smiles to see if I'm smiling.  It's rather cute.
 
Aunt Christy got him these squeezable blocks, which have also become a great teething tool.  He chooses one, and goes to town, slobbering and squeaking away.  While he's busy, I start to stack them up and build a tower.  It's at that point that he decides he doesn't want the one he has anymore.  He wants the one in the middle of the tower.  Every. Single. Time. 

Jackson currently DESPISES the vacuum cleaner.  He literally screams and cries like an abandoned wild monkey until I turn it off.  I guess cleanliness is not his thing.  Don't tell Danny Tanner.

This shirt was so sweetly made with LOVE by Auntie Ruthie. 
He IS the KING OF HEARTS. :)  Thank you, Ruthie!!! xo

I just finished the song I wrote for Jackson.  I would love to be able to put it to melody and sing it to him. 

"Jackie Boy"

Verse 1

Summer sun was beating, the clouds refused to show

But I couldn't feel the heat the day my baby said hello

Riding home together, me in the back seat

Daddy drove, I held that tissue, and held your little feet

Verse 2

We were fast friends, night owls, and took turns shedding tears

Never had I held on tighter to something in all my years

Spent all day holding you, your crib didn't have a chance

The music kept you happy, and you had your first slow dance

Chorus

Your eyes told me of a love that would always be around

Your smile became my daily quest, your laugh my favorite sound

Waiting all night to see you again, and greet you with hug and kiss

Jackie boy, I never knew a heart could love like this

Verse 3

Never knew I could love a train show, or sing every word of its song

And a week without sleeping is really not that long

Magazine rack-now a burp cloth stack, the house knows a different noise

Rooms now had no corners cause they're filled with all your toys

Verse 4

Dinner time might be at nine, but that's okay with me

As long as we're all here I'd eat my dinner in a tree

There's never been a sweeter grin in all the world it's true

Your mom and dad adore you and you'll always know we do

Your eyes told me of a love that would always be around

Your smile became my daily quest, your laugh my favorite sound

Waiting all night to see you again, and greet you with hug and kiss

Jackie boy, I never knew a heart could love like this

Jackie boy, I never knew a heart could love like this

Written By, Karen Rinella 2013

7 months old!

Today, our little baby turns 7 months old!  We had come this far without a hitch, but just this week, Jackson got his first little "sickies" as the stomach bug visited our house.  We are still recovering, but we're all doing much better.  Jackie is now able to sit in the bath tub like a big boy, and believe you me, he's gotten plenty of practice sitting in the tub this week.  He also continues to sing and laugh a lot, and is getting ever so close to crawling.  Here is our 7 month old boy! 

Jackie sits back reflects his thoughts for the moment

Scratches his head and does his best James Dean

Well you know Diane, we oughtta run of the city

Diane says "Baby, you ain't missin' nothin'

"Jackie say a

"Oh yeah life goes on

Long after the thrill of livin' is gone

Oh yeah say life goes on

Long after the thrill of livin' is gone."

--John Mellancamp

The Bug That Dropped By

Every once in awhile, you get issued a day that you didn't order up.  Things happen that you didn't see coming.  And in this case, I'm not talking about the good kind of scenario, where you might have a surprise package at your front door or find out that you have enough of a balance on your Starbucks card to buy one more drink.  And it wasn't even the neutral kind of event either, which is still like, "oh cool!" but doesn't evoke much emotion.  You know, like cracking an egg open and finding two yolks, or seeing that someone (other than you) put a new roll of toilet paper on the spool.  Yesterday was a "Surprise, there's your fifth load of laundry for today!" kind of day. 

Poor Jackie got sick yesterday, and he had it coming from both ends.  We just couldn't seem to keep up with the messes.  It went a little like this: Hmm, I smell something.  FOUL.  I pick up Jackie and discover his diaper needed changing.  NOW.  If I'd known what I was about to unveil, I'd have laid down newspaper like for preschoolers about to fingerpaint for this kind of display.  Poor little guy.  After he was all clean, I put him in his swing so I could tidy up.  Not even 15 minutes later, Kayleigh and I are smelling it again.  And it somehow got worse.  I pick him up from the swing, and now I have to change the swing.  Shit, that won't fit in the diaper pail.  Take apart the swing, clean off poo.  Repeat diaper process.  Start washing machine again.  After the THIRD time, I just put him (clothes and all) right into the bath tub.  Later at dinner time, I gave him some rice cereal and squash.  About three-quarters of the way through, I saw a look I've never seen before on his face, and like a frog whisking his tongue out to score that passerby insect, I grabbed the nearest towel--not quite just in time, but almost.  All of it came right back up.  At 25 times the speed that it went down.  A day that started out as a quiet song was now in full crescendo. Serenity now!  I think I could actually hear the Southwest Airlines voiceover man saying, "Wanna get away?" in my head. 

Anyway, after all that and two baths later, he finally crashed for the night, and today he seems to be feeling much better.  He never had a fever, thank goodness.  But no matter what, seeing your child go through any kind of discomfort is difficult.  The happy little camper handled it better than me though.  Other than a little mild protesting from how often I was dressing and undressing him, he seemed to be in normal cheerful spirits.  And luckily, Kayleigh had the day off of school so she was there to assist me with our little bug (no pun intended). :) Thank you so much, Kayleigh!  I owe ya, big time.
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Jackson has been honing in on his skills and he's a real slick nickel when it comes to his dexterity.  He's been busy being Jack-in-the-box operator, piano player, and block tower tester.  He is definitely a "hands on" kinda guy. 

And just a little shout out to my mom...

Mom, now I get it.  I totally understand why you...

...kept a shoebox full of medicine in the cabinet. A novel idea.

...seemed to always have piles of miscellaneous papers/mail/junk on the counter. It goes into that "I'm-going-to-read-this-some-day-soon-just-not-today" pile.

...insisted on using Baby Magic. I know I looked at you like you were some sort of alien when we were shopping at Target that day. You told me it was so much better than Johnson's. Yep. You were right on that one. 

...got less and less sleep the more children you had.

...forgot your children's names sometimes. A lot of times actually.

...sang to us all the time.  It really does wonders to stop an impending fuss spell.

...talked on the phone to girlfriends for HOURS (or so it seemed) because that's what you have to do when you can't really get out of the house.

...read funny books like Erma Bombeck. Humor is so underrated and so necessary. P.S. No, I don't read Erma Bombeck books. Yet. But I see your point.

...reheated your coffee in the microwave. And then did it again. Too many distractions.

...used alternative words for obscenities while driving. Now I know what you were really thinking when you said, "Use your turn signal, turkey!"  (I should really see someone for my road rage.) 

Our Big "Jack"pot

Now that Jackie is somewhat "mobile," it just got VERY interesting over here.  There is pretty much no place I put him where he can't wriggle jiggle free.  He can slide, roll, scoot, shimmy, or cha-cha-cha his way pretty much wherever he wants to venture, and his reflexes are faster than the speed of light.  He will QUICKLY grab anything and everything that he can--many times all at once--just so that he can say he touched it all.  When I bring in the groceries, he loves to sit in his bumbo chair and carefully go over all of our purchases.  I'll stack boxes for him and he will pound and bang to his heart's content.

It's very amusing watching him get to each new stage of discovery.  He enjoys sitting on a blanket with some scattered toys, but we've also realized that other "household" items can entertain him even more.  This can be anything from the plastic wrap toilet paper comes in to the drawstrings on a hooded sweatshirt.  He loves it all.  And he has found a few characters on television that really tickle his fancy.  He adores Driver Dan's Story Train, Caillou, and The Goodnight Show with the Jim Henson characters The Pajanimals.  He gets so excited to see any of these guys or hear their intro music. 

Some other things Jackson enjoys right now: sipping water through a straw, watching Mama blow bubbles, playing "hide/seek/peek-a-boo" games, and most recently, I dusted off my guitar and started playing music for him.  He will smile and giggle no matter how rusty I am.  He is the perfect audience member.
Though it's been a bit chilly this month, we have combatted that with a new little trick of mine.  I put the heating pad in Jackson's crib while we do bath time and get ready for bed.  Then, just before I lie him down, I remove the pad and the bed is all warm and toasty.  Works like a charm.

Ok, someone might be slightly spoiled.  :)

Many Milestones, Awesome Accomplishments!

Jackie and Kayleigh (or J and K as we shorten it to) have been so busy recently!  They have been busy making us so proud of them! 

Kayleigh got straight As on her report card, and even though she has always gotten straight As, we feel it is such an accomplishment because Junior High was a big step up from Elementary School.  Coursework is harder and expectations are larger.  She has met the challenge successfully, and though she spends a lot more time on homework, it's paid off.  She has also been doing an outstanding job as a musician.  She plays the flute and is First Chair. 

Jackie can now sit up all by himself, is eating like such a big boy, and (drum roll for this one) just went to sleep all on his own last night for the first time!  Usually I rock him down and he goes right to sleep, but this time I put him in his crib while he was still awake.  After about 10-15 minutes it was pretty quiet in there so I went to check on him.  He was curled up fast asleep.

He eats 2 solid food meals a day and has tried rice cereal, squash, green beans, apples, bananas, peaches, pears, kiwi, mango, avocado, chicken and noodles, oatmeal, and sweet potatoes!  He has really broadened his horizons and loves to try new things.  One thing he didn't like, however, was a Cheerio.  He had a total gag reflex and wanted that thing OUT of his mouth.  But we'll try again another day.  He also loves and recognizes lots of songs like "Itsy Bitsy Spider," "I'm A Little Teapot," "If You're Happy and You Know It," and "Help Me Jackie," (sung to the tune of the Beach Boys "Help Me Rhonda").

 

Way to go, kids!

Baby Boot Camp

Warning: This blog post is NOT about my baby.  It's about me.

After 6 months of being a mommy, I really feel that it is my wish--and my duty--to spill my guts and talk about the last half a year.  As many of you know, I went through a little bit of post partum lows and there were some days that posed many a challenge for me.  Please don't misinterpret me, I LOVE being a mom and all that it entails.  Well, most of what it entails.  But I had to get through this many minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months to be able to look back and actually clearly understand why couples decide to have more than one child.  For there was a time, early on, where I thought, my goodness I have gone to the other side.  There were plenty of nights where dinner came from a box or a bottle (both wine references there, ha!).  But I believe now--in hindsight--that all of this came from temporary uncontrollable hormones and necessary life adjustments that I just never could have imagined or anticipated.  *Not to mention, it was summertime in Arizona. Ick.  That's enough to make anyone go a little crazy.

It's true what they say--that all of the preparation, excitement and new baby bliss can lead to an actual letdown and semi-depression once the pain meds wear off and you realize that this little crying thing is bunking with you now.  Every day.  And every night.  That slippers and sweats are not actually a part of your wardrobe that you're really proud of.  That no matter how energetic you felt prior to that trip to the hospital and giving birth, it all vanishes for awhile as you struggle to just muddle through each day.  There was a new normal to navigate.  And my learning curve was pretty steep.  I wasn't sure I even possessed the tools required to survive.  I remember there were days where I thought I would never have the mental capacity or physical desire to exercise, cook, clean, remember peoples' birthdays, or do anything functional again.  I remember watching television commercials and thinking, gosh, why is everyone so flipping happy and out riding bikes and jumping into pools and commenting on how wonderful their insurance plans or breakfast cereals were?  I could not see the big picture and I had lost my macro lens on life.  Everything seemed so trivial.  And having people just tell you it will get better, get easier, didn't actually make it so.  My behavior may have been indicative of a happy new mom, but there were days I had to try REALLY hard convincing myself of that.   

But somewhere along the line, something just happened and things actually DID get better.  I am not even sure I can pinpoint WHEN that transition occurred, but I know that I owe three-quarters of my remaining sanity to my husband Phil and step-daughter Kayleigh, and the rest to my lovingly dear friends and family for the constant support.  This blog was really a place where I could share our memories, but I am also thankful for all these "coaches" I had during my "Baby Boot Camp," who could see that I was hurting and just knew how to be helpful, listen, and guide me through.  It's like when I was six years old and my ski instructor told me I'd be okay, but I thought I would rather die than go down that hill.  I needed a "push."  Actually they had to force me to do it or else I'd still be at the top of that hill, contemplating.  Thank you to those of you who gave me that push (or shove, whichever) down the hill.  I've always tried to look at things positively, and I'd be the first person to say the glass is half full.  And today, I am so thrilled that I actually am feeling like that is the case, rather than just nodding, agreeing, and going through the motions.  My gratitude to this incredible support system is immeasurable.

To anyone that I haven't seen or spoken to in a great long time, I apologize for having "left the building" for awhile or if I've been unavailable as a friend, but I hope you can understand.  Just as an athlete must be in prime physical form to compete, I had to be in a good mental and emotional state in order to talk about this whole process.  And one thing that I think I would love to do at this point in my life, is to talk with or counsel first time moms who may have gone through a similar experience.  You can be ok with not being ok for awhile.  It's just the truth.  And if I had to guess, I'm sure there are plenty of people who would rather not unleash the honesty because it's more attractive or socially acceptable to be "fine."  I actually really appreciate those friends who told me either through their words or with a good hard look, that hey!  This is NOT EASY!!  You are SUPPOSED to feel exhausted sometimes, and you'll be cranky some days.  You may even want to punch people.  The ones who reminded me that I will never be the "old Karen" again, and that I have a new role now.  A much harder, more selfless, WAY more emotional, but so much more fulfilling role. 

That raw and brutal honesty was the best medicine I ever ingested.  And now I understand. 

Our pediatrician recently told us that we do not need to be using the baby monitor anymore. He said that no monitor has ever prevented Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. It only prevents parents from getting a good night's sleep. And that was hard for me to hear. I tried to tell him that I needed that monitor. But the more I listened to him, the more sense he made. Jackie will be ok. And if he needs me, if he REALLY needs me, I'll hear him. I don't need to hear every little breath or noise he makes. And if it helps me get a better night's sleep to be a better parent the next day, then so be it.

I am pleased to say that I feel great.  I feel amazing.  And that is the truth.  I still cannot read (even the first page) any one of the 5 copies I own of the book Love You Forever without crying.  I have jeans that still don't fit quite right.  The cleanliness of my kitchen is always a "work in progress."  But you know something?  I feel like myself.  I feel exuberant and love my life and my family.  And that means EVERYTHING to me.   

Okay, and here are a couple of pictures of my cute baby.  I couldn't finish the post without acknowledging this sweet little guy. :)

Happy New Year!

Welcome, 2013! 

Our New Year's Eve "celebration" was quite different this year.  We had some frequent sofa snoozing in preparation for the big countdown.  Jackson had gone to bed at 7:30, but awoke late at night so as not to miss all the action.   

Jackson also had his 6 month well visit today.  He weighed 20 lbs, 2 oz, and he was about 28 inches long! 
Here we are at the nice doctor's office...

Everything is great, I've got lots to look at and touch.  I like this nice paper I'm sitting on.  I can probably tear that apart.

 Wait, WHAT?  I'm getting shots???!!!

We hope that your 2013 brings you much happiness, peace, and love...
 

And plenty of reasons to smile...