The Biggest Loser

No, I didn't lose all of the baby weight yet.  Still working on that...

(I blame nursery rhymes and the power of suggestion.  Little Jack Horner with his Christmas pie, Little Miss Muffet chowing down upon her tuffet, and the Queen of Hearts with her fattening tarts.  So many recipes, so little time.)  

But here are a few other things I have lost since becoming a mother 15 months ago.

• The ability to sleep like a rock
• Several key parts of my previously functioning brain
• Several key parts of my previously functioning wardrobe
• The desire to hold back tears (when you know they're a-comin')
• Several units of cabinet space
• A whole lotta space in general
• Time for things like shaving my legs and casual trips to the grocery store
• My need to have an always-clean house
• My need to have an always-clean baby
• My need to have an always-clean anything
• The car keys on many days
• My mind on most days
• MY MEMORY ON ALL DAYS

And still, with all that I have lost, it can't compare to all that I've gained.

• A lot more room in my wallet (kids cause wallets to drain rapidly)
• A Master's Degree in Laundryology
• Beautifully soft dish pan hands
• More new and creative ways to make dinner with one hand and in 10 minutes or less
• Fun day trips to crazy houses that serve pizza and beer, and introduce children to the concept of gambling.

And of course...with this little guy as my head time keeper and schedule coordinator, I've gained over a gazillion new and wonderful memories!

At 15 months, Jackie is still growing by leaps and bounds.  He is busy every moment of the livelong day.  He is starting to get some molars and he's running, not walking wherever we go.  He is enjoying his swing set, especially the slide.  He says Mama and Dada and he is very interested in any kind of ball.  Basketballs, footballs, baseballs, beach balls, and even billiards balls (seriously, watch out!)  We are literally having a ball with him. 

Keep the Change

Pocket Change

As a little girl at nine years old,
I loved the candy store. 
With a handful of nickels for chores well done,
I'd fly right through that door.
You sometimes see change coming,
but it's unexpected too,
And when it's just right, ready or not,
a change will come to you.

Key Change
All of my life I've loved music,
and I knew that I needed to sing.
At church, at school, on car trips,
and our best friends' weddings.
You sometimes see change coming,
but it's unexpected too.
And when it's just right, ready or not,
a change will come to you.

Lane Change
Then ensued the teenage years, the dances, the makeup, and friends.
New freedoms, a license, and road trips that we never wanted to end.
You sometimes see change coming, but it's unexpected too,
And when it's just right, ready or not, a change will come to you.

Short Change
Through twists and turns and difficult choices, pain will meet your heart.
But debts of love are always repaid, giving more than you had to start.
You sometimes see change coming, but it's unexpected too,
And when it's just right, ready or not, a change will come to you.

Climate change
My soul would crave a new home--with new faces, sights, and sounds.
I went looking for the rest of my life, and that's exactly what I found.
You sometimes see change coming, but it's unexpected too,
And when it's just right, ready or not, a change will come to you.

Diaper Change
And the best things in life aren't things at all, but the small miracles that stir.
That awaken your eyes and provide understanding where you may not have been sure.
You sometimes see change coming, but it's unexpected too,
And when it's just right, ready or not, a change will come to you.

Change can creep in quietly, or can storm right through your door.
When you think you have all you could ever desire, then you suddenly realize there's more.
We may not always be asking, and our permission it doesn't require.
But through good times and bad, in all that we've had, we need change for life to transpire.

-Karen Rinella 2013

"Things always work out the way they are meant to be." 

I have been living by this motto for as long as I can remember.  Every choice, chance, meeting, and experience of my past has led me to my present.  And that's just what it is, a present.  And today, I am so happy to wish my beautiful, wise, and wonderful stepdaughter, Kayleigh, a very special and happy 13th birthday.  Kayleigh, I can't believe you're a teenager!  We have been through LOTS of changes together, and I will always be here for you, no matter what other changes and exciting things lay ahead for you!  I am so proud of you, Kayleigh, and will always be grateful for all of the ways in which you've blessed me! 

 

 

The Back Page #10: Life Lately

 

• I'm convinced that somewhere inside my refrigerator lives a small obsessive troll who keeps moving the Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies to the front and insists on hiding the celery.  And you know what they say... Really, you shouldn't argue with fridge trolls.   

• And on the 9th day, God created dirt.  And He said, "Dirt, go forth and multiply."  And so that is what I'm doing over here.  Carrying out God's plan.

• When I was little, I played games just like any other kid.  But from my unsteady hand in Pick Up Sticks, to the intense buzzing sound in Operation, and of course, the dismemberment of a one Mrs. Potato Head, I sort of knew that being a surgeon was not in my future.

• I give up easily when it comes to bath time.  Not being the one armored with an elephant's lung capacity, a "musical" recorder, AND a squirt gun, I am only too happy to surrender.         

• I don't have a "6th Sense."  It's more like a 5 and a halfth sense.  But it's still awesome and also pretty accurate at detecting the presence of candy or french fries within a 100 yard radius. 

Last Friday (the 13th), I didn't even blink an eye because, really.  I am too old to believe in superstitions like bad luck.  But either bad luck really wanted to teach me a lesson, or it is just a lot less punctual than it used to be, because Saturday the 14th is the new Friday the 13th.  I could not keep up with the messes that morning and I somehow knew by breakfast that the day was doomed.  Our shower got backed up and I had to use a toilet plunger to drain the "bath" out of the shower.  I rushed to get ready for work and I stepped in gum while getting into the car.  It was so hot outside that the bottom of my shoe turned into some sort of cotton candy, tar, and grape soda mixture.  
Then the small man didn't nap.  In fact, he was channeling his inner wicked witch.  And this was all before noon.  Kinda like a bad hangover except you didn't drink the night before.  Ever have days where you just wanna hop in a canoe and paddle away?
  

• When my husband encounters a stranger in public, the first thing he notices is whether or not the person is carrying a weapon (law enforcement background).  The first thing I notice is whether or not he or she is carrying popcorn.  Because priorities.  And then of course from there, we make our own assessment as to whether or not we'll hit it off.

• If you want to know just how well you'd fare on Survivor, go on over to Chuck E Cheese on a Saturday.  This is a pretty good test.

Jackie loves bananas.  We eat bananas.  We sing about them. We use them as accessories.  And we even tell jokes about them.  Don't worry, I know I get my Corny Card punched for these...    
What is a banana's favorite game show?  Peel or No Peel
What is a banana's best dance move?  The Slide
What is a banana's place of residence?  A split level 
What is a banana's favorite television show?  The Brady Bunch
Why must I make up banana jokes?  I don't know, but I didn't say it was my most a-peeling trait.

The Church of the NFL

I've often heard my husband declare that from September to January, he attends the church of the NFL.  And it got me thinking.  Are church and football really one in the same?

The TOP TEN Ways Football and Church

are not *That* Different

10. There are people huddling close, shaking hands, and of course, kneeling down at all the important parts.

9. "Glory glory Hallelujah!" "Amen!" or "Thanks be to God!" may be shouted out repeatedly.

8. The man in charge is sitting way up high.

7. A community gathers once a week for a sharing of light snacks and some booze.

6. The line for the food is always long.

5. Usually you end up standing so you can see better.

4. There's always someone a little "off" sitting next to you.

3. No matter who wins or loses, every Sunday is a triumphant victory over evil.

2. If you're late for kickoff, ain't no fire and brimstone.  They're just happy you've joined the celebration.  And all are welcome.

1. At collection time, you're always throwing your money in.

Toddlers: They're Just Like US

 

And they take time out of their busy schedules to dance the Cupid Shuffle with celebrity mice.