Recipes From the Heart

People have been asking and asking, and frankly, I was getting a headache from all the requests.  So, to help satisfy your cravings, here are some of my most popular recipes, sure to give your tongue a sleigh ride.  Yes, move to the side Ms. Crocker.  I'm borrowing your apron for a bit.  From my kitchen to yours, you're welcome.

 

 A+ APPETIZERS

Egg-stremely delicious hard boiled eggs
Find what's left of the eggs in your fridge.  Don't worry about the "best if used by" date.  Those are only suggestions.  Boil those bad boys up.  Peel them right away, but for best results, don't get hung up on getting every piece of shell off.  Honestly, I've noticed with my family, it's effective in increasing concentration skills and sharpening focus.  Enjoy them plain or with a sprinkling of your favorite condiment.

Sweet Party Mix
Open up your pantry and locate the cereal area.  You may need to stand on a chair or wear a helmet, depending on the conditions (both if you're at my house).  Choose 3-5 varieties and a get a medium sized bowl.  Scoop a handful of each kind into the bowl and mix.  Serve with cold milk chasers.     

EASY ENTREES

Easy Cheesy Calzones
First, call up your local pizza joint.  Once you get your pizza (delivered of course, we are a busy kitchen with no time for frivolous errands), take it out of the box and lay it flat on the counter.  Now, carefully, with both hands, fold your pizza pie in half.  Then press down on the edges firmly.  Voila.  Calzone.  Suggested wine pairing: anything that pours.

Tacos and Tequila
Now, it's very important that you prep your tequila and throw back a few shots while you're constructing the tacos.  Because then it really doesn't matter that the tacos are Fritos and a can of bean dip.  Cause suddenly, those are the best dingdang tacos you've ever had, Pablo!

DECADENT DESSERTS

Oh-My Apple Pie
Slice up an apple.  Find a few graham crackers that aren't too stale.  But stale will work too.  Closing your eyes, alternate taking bites of each.  Doesn't taste exactly like Grandma's?  Close your eyes tighter.  And use your imagination.  Optional topping: freezer burned vanilla ice cream. 

Mint Chocolate Grasshopper
First, open a bag of Oreos.  Eat as many as you think you should.  Then, go rinse with Scope.  A mint chocolate merry-go-round in your mouth. 

3 MUST-HAVE KITCHEN INGREDIENTS

Garlic: Scares away more than just vampires. "Oh, hhhhhello, Mr. Solicitor.  Hhhhhhow can I hhhhhelp you today?"

Onion: "Oh, honey.  I am so sorry (*tear) to hear that the Yankees are on a rain delay.  Wanna help me finish making this salsa?"

Tabasco: "I would LOVE to hear a recap of every one of your golf shots from this morning, Dad.  But I'll have to call you back, later...Jackie found that flimmin' flammin' bottle of hot sauce again.  Gotta run!"

   
I've submitted a couple of these recipes to Taste of Home Magazine. No word yet, but I'm sure they're just really busy licking beaters and taste-testing over there. Take your time guys, I'm in no hurry. 

Do you think she'll notice if I just casually drop this off the side of my tray?

 

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