Bleepity Bleep and Why I'll Never Finish My Book

I've been trying to read a book.  And I just shouldn't have picked it up.  Because I tend to get a teensy bit frayed if I start something and then can't commit.  It's why I canceled my gym membership and stopped watching Glee.  Just let em go. (Cause, if you love something, set it free, it'll come back to you, if it was meant to be.  Right?  Haha.  Likely, it's a no on that.)

There really is no good time to read.  When I'm awake, I'm chasing tornadoes and cleaning up the barn.  And when I have 2 minutes to breathe, I usually spend that breath getting comfortable and closing my eyes in a long extended blink.

Yesterday morning, I went to the store with a 10 month old and a husband.  I somehow knew from the moment I put him (the 10 month old, not the husband) into the shopping cart that today would be a doozy.  Like burnt toast.  Only you can't scrape this off into the garbage. 

There was enough drool coming out of Jackie to fill a bath tub.  And I knew, just knew that we were entering the next round of teething.  Yippy. Skippy.

When we got home from the quick trip, I at least got to be happy because the previous night, I had decided to deep clean the kitchen and sterilize everything just for $hits and giggles.  But once you do this, if you're like me, you'll then want to set up a lifeguard chair overlooking the landscape, and blow your whistle at any casual crumb dropper or dish dirtier.  Stop!  You, with that spoon!  Bleep!  You, over there, no dirty plates in the sink!  Bleep, BLEEEEEEEP!! 

Even though you clean and scour, you know it won't stay that way for long.  But there I was, with an out of control OCD to keep up with the dishes as they accumulated.  And this takes more work than all the cleaning in the first place.  Senseless.  It is.

And so my perilous journey of trying in vain began.

My next mistake came after breakfast.  Had to get those dishes done and put away so they wouldn't interfere with my new housekeeping agenda.  (This won't last, trust me).  But Jackie needed me, the dryer was buzzing, and there were clothes in there that would wrinkle, and I forgot to shut the garage door after Phil left for work.  Bye bye dishes, hello distraction.   

When I came back in from the garage, I heard an unusual sound coming from just west of the lifeguard stand.  It sounded like someone was watering the flowers and plants.  What was it, you ask?  This. 

Phew, that was close.  But I barely had a chance to reach my hand in there and pull the drain stopper when my next duty called.  I was a walking talking multi-tasking mess. 

And all day long, whether I had to pee or get something from the refrigerator, I heard the sound of a pack of wolves howling at a full moon.  Noooooooooo!  Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!  Hoouuuuuuuuuuuu! 

I don't know about you, but I tend to address this type of situation rather than ignore it.  Both the empty Advil bottle and I agreed that it was best to shut this down.

After lots of playing, rocking, swaying, reading, and everything else, nap time was looming.  Except my usual solid gold napper was not in the mood today.  And after several failed attempts we decided to go to the outlet mall where we could get some fresh air.

Of course, that SOB named Murphy's Law made Jackie fall asleep in the car.  So, I continued driving because some force of mother nature told me this was best.  I parked in a VIP spot, rolled down the passenger window halfway, and listened to Train, Coldplay, and other daydreamy shopping songs while he slept.

Finally.  A small window of sanity in my day.  I caught up on emails and happily zoned out for awhile.  When he wakes, I'll stroller him up, go get a slice of retail therapy and a cold drink. 

He woke up with angel eyes, sweetly peering up at me through the cockeyed baby mirror.  His face seemed to say, "Let's go, Mama.  I'm anxious to see what White House Black Market has on clearance." 

First store.  Found something to purchase.  Went to the checkout counter.  Fussbudget started getting fidgety.  And then.  I turned around to find that Murphy's Law was still with us and had followed us in just to point out that I didn't bring my purse on this excursion.  Great.  Put stuff back.  Leave the store like a depressed 5th grader when they didn't call a snow day.  Bum-mer!

We drove back home and I waited in the driveway for either a saddled unicorn, Santa's sleigh, or Calgon to to come and take me away.  Whichever came first.  But the only thing that came was a cold breeze so we went inside. 

There are not very many days like this, where everything is burnt toast, no snow days, and zilch unicorns.  And for that I am thankful.  Sure, I will eventually finish reading my book, but I have it way way waaaaay on the back burner for right now.

Along with the dishes and all other trivial housekeeping duties.  For right now, I'm playing with my baby.

(Sorry this post was sorta long.  But so was my day, and see?  We all made it through.)