The Evolution of Gift Giving

The art of picking out the perfect gift.  It has never been easy.

A long long time ago...
Hmmmm, should I give her 50 acres of land or add to her collection of livestock?

I wonder if she'd like a new lantern for the master bedroom in the vacation cave.

A long time ago...
Should I get her a new vacuum cleaner, an atomic clock, or a transistor radio?  Nah, I'll just take her to the diner and for a picture show in the Model-T.

Not that long ago...
Flowers and chocolate, a fancy dinner, and a pair of gold hoop earrings.

Today...
Scotch tape and wrapping paper?  They are nearly extinct due to these effortless, colored, handled bags.  Throw something in, crumple tissue paper, floof it up, and you're done. 

Or you can give cash.  Here's $32.80, the contents of my wallet.
 
A vast majority of people give and receive gift cards nowadays.  Because nothing says I love you like a small piece of plastic that can be swiped.  My motto: If it says "Visa," it's sure to please ya.

But before you criticize the gift card giver, remember, a lot of thought actually does go into this...

"I think $25 should do it.  No, that seems too cheap.  $50 seems a bit steep.  But anything in between says I had to think about it too much.  Who gives a gift card for $35?"  

That's right, no one.   

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What moves us to give gifts?  Is it true that it is better to give than to receive?  Maybe you've been lucky enough to be on the receiving end of some really great gifts.  Or maybe not.

The Homemade Gift
Sure, it's a haphazard concoction of uncooked elbow macaroni, glue, and colored fuzz balls, but it is so beautifully hand-crafted by one of your own that it makes you cry big fat tears all over the place, partly because it is so precious, and other partly because you know in 1 hour, you'll be on your hands and knees picking up every piece of that Pasta Picasso.

The Anonymous Gift
That stellar person ahead of you who just paid for your coffee.  There really are angels on Earth. 

The Forgotten About Gift
It's after 11:00 pm on December 24th, and you and your sister are on your way to the 24-hour truck stop gift shop to pick out small treasures for the stockings.  You wander around for about 20 minutes, lowering your standards with each forlorn look at every cheapo, made in China, package of what the heck.  So you cut your losses and leave with some marbles, a plastic King Kong gorilla, and a package of dusty gumballs that you'll have to divvy up and put in sandwich bags. Merry Christmas!   
P.S.  This is a true story.  Characters, you know who you are. 

The ReGift
This one has a notoriously sour reputation, and it's too bad.  Because sooner or later, you will figure out--like the gift Houdini that you are--just who is going to benefit from a personalized mug with your name on it, a bottle of Grandma perfume, and the as seen on tv flexible garden hose. 
Check, check, and check.

The Themed Gift
Popular on anniversaries, themes give you some guidelines about what to get for that special person in your life.  But it all goes just a little bit south when your husband figures he'll kill two birds with one unfortunate stone by buying Charmin Ultra Soft as a means to denote "paper" for your first anniversary. "We were down to one roll," he adds.  And you got him concert tickets. 
Now who's the dummy? 

The Unwanted Gift
That kid in the Play Place who just wiped his runny nose on each individual colored plastic ball and gave you and your little angel the nastiest cold ever.  I think I may have a re-gift item for him.  I wonder if he likes Rigatoni with Glue Sauce.  And a side of fuzz meatballs.

The Perfect Gift 

Similar to the perfect cheer, this gift leaves you leaping for joy.  When someone took the time to do it up right, you'll want to do somersaults and back hand springs because, finally, they understand that locking you in the bathroom with just your book, some Pringles, a glass of anything, and a do not disturb sign is, in fact, on the 2013 Hallmark Gold Crown Best Mom Gifts of the year list.

Oh yes it is.  It's not?

Well it's on my list then, alright?
(And I like Prosecco.) 

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Here's a little gift that Jackie got from Grandma just the other day.  A sweet book.  He loves books.  I should really start teaching him to read though because he clearly thought it said, "Rip."

Sure, we might not be using it for gift-wrapping, but our Scotch tape still gets plenty of game time.